The Eliminator

Seven people. One Island. Hunted Alive. One Winner.

*orgasms*

Synopsis: Ex-Navy SEAL, Dakota Varley risks his life when he is chosen to be a "contestant" in a 10 million dollar winner-take-all hunt to the death. To win this ultimate game of survival, you just have to be the last man remaining alive. Fighting for his life in a jungle as dangerous as the hunters he faces, Varley must call upon all the training he has ever known, but still, nothing has ever prepared him for this. In this game of survival, you can't get voted off the island, you can only die there...

*Spoiler Alert* the most dangerous thing found in this "jungle" might be poison ivy.

The Eliminator is not a good movie. It's so bad that it's a GREAT movie! I was entertained through every minute. The hilariously bad acting from Paul Logan is B-Movie gold. It's topped off by the so over-the-top acting from G. Anthony Joseph (he's not one of the contestants). Most of the "actors" in this movie are stunt doubles and they even include a UFC fighter. Fans of horribly great B-movies will love The Eliminator.

The Eliminator came out three years before The Condemned. The only difference between both movies is this features contestants being hunted, whereas in The Condemned they must kill each other. The Condemned was probably better just due to the fact that The Eliminator was straight to DVD. Everything else feels pretty much the same right down to the music played on the DVD menu.

The game of survival features 7 people captured against their will to be hunted alive on an "island" (The "island" is only an island from the CGI aerial shots). Each hunter is only given two bullets. Each contestant's survival is being gambled on by a group of big-shot millionaires. Chances are the winning contestant will not get a dime as we learn in the opening scene that the diabolical man running this, Miles Dawson (Michael Rooker), does not like to pay up. The stakes are high for the rich gamblers because once their contestant is eliminated, they lose their bets. While there's a lot of neck-snapping action down on the island, the gamblers get busy snapping at each other with insults and conspiracy theories.

Contestants:

Jesse Jenkins (Paul Logan). He's a Kendo Expert and a DEA from Central America. He got sold out on the job and captured to compete.




Santha Torres (Danielle Burgio). She's a freedom fighter who trains men and women to kill. She's also a rebel insurgent and an expert at Guerrilla warfare. Not to mention she claims she killed 14 men before they could capture her. (wow, this is hilarious!)


Tonya Coyne (Vicki Phillips). A special forces drill instructor. She's an expert at hand-to-hand combat and explosives. It's Bazooka Barbie!




Seth Kwong (Phi-Long Nguyen). He's an undercover police officer and Wu Shu specialist. He was my pick for winner.




Darius Blake (Jamal Duff). He's a convict taken from a prison in Kosova. They couldn't find any other black guy I guess.




Salvador Montoya (Marco Ruas). He's a Medy Yeins drug cartel (a what?) and interrogator.




Dakota Varley (Bas Rutten). A desert storm Huey pilot according to his bio. An Ex-Navy SEAL according to the plot synopsis. So he's just simply amazing. He enjoys kickboxing, cage fighting and long walks on the beach.




Movie Clip:



Click here for Spoilers

First Victim: Seth. His neck is snapped almost immediately by Darius.

Second Victim: Salvador. He and Varley get into a UFC rematch fist brawl. Varley snaps Salvy's neck with the help of Jesse.

Third Victim: Tonya. The hunters finally arrive and snipe down Tonya during the night.

Fourth Victim: Santha. When Varley and Santha are engaging in some sort of dirty sex with their clothes on, Jesse clubs Santha from behind with a stick. She had a knife and was about to kill Varley. Jesse gives the line: "You thought with the wrong head" (lol)

Fifth Victim: Darius. Darius shoots Jesse with his only bullet (taken from a hunter) then fights hand-to-hand with Varley. Varley wins and snaps Darius' neck. Jesse survives the bullet wound.

Survivors: Varley and Jesse. This cute bromance breaks into the hosts compound, kills a bunch of the baddies who set them up, and then ride off together in a helicopter.

This photo was taken from the Making-Of DVD Featurette. I think it explains everything...

My Little Eye

My Little Eye just may be the longest hour and thirty minutes of your life. Or if you're interested in hard-core scary films (ones that serve no entertainment value aside from being scary) then you may just love My Little Eye. If you're someone who subscribes to those online Big Brother feeds and you can spend long periods of time watching people chit chat about nothing AND you like dark, chilling, depressing movies, then you may also love My Little Eye. This movie is basically: Big Brother: The Horror Movie. I remember several years back MTV did that scripted version of the Real World where people were mysteriously murdered. I wish I could find that because I probably would have enjoyed it more than My Little Eye.

Synopsis: Five strangers are cast to spend six months in a house, with their every move broadcast on the web. If no one leaves before six months are up, they'll split a million dollars. It's the newest in reality entertainment, but it may be the last thing those five people ever do. Each of them is being put to the test by outside forces which prey on their worst fears. Is it all a challenge to see if they'll last? Or, is someone playing a deadly game with their lives?

It's MTV's The Real World crossed with the Blair With Project. The five 20-somethings are trapped in this dark, old house out in the middle of nowhere. The house is very dull and dreary looking; It really sets the mood of the movie. There are little web cams all over the house. They talk a lot. There isn't really any action in the movie aside from two people having sex at one point. It gets a little interesting when the cast is thrown some messages from the outside world. One guy gets a letter that a family member died. One girl gets a message from some psycho she has a bad history with. Some of the cast believe these things are just ploys from "The Company" (the people running the operation) to try and tempt them out of the house. They seriously think that the whole world is watching them and that one day they'll all be famous. That is, until, a stranger actually stumbles upon the house. He tells them that he's never heard of their web show despite practically living online himself. The houseguests grow suspicious and somehow crack into some internet connection and try to find their show's website. What they find is not what they expected...

Cast:

Matt (Sean CW Johnson) is the good-looking jock. He's quiet, calm and doesn't attempt to hook up with either of the girls.

Rex (Kris Lemche) is the punk. He let's us know he's only there for the money and will stop at nothing to prevent the others from leaving.

Emma (Laura Regan) is the girl next door. She's sweet and innocent but with a dark past that comes back to haunt her.

Danny (Stephen O'Reilly) is the quiet guy. He has a crush on Emma.

Charlie (Jennifer Sky) is the slutty girl. She loves showing off her body and hopes to be famous.

Click here for Spoilers

The Twist: What they find out online is that they are part of a snuff reality show. Rich sickos are paying to watch them get killed. Matt was hired to kill the other 4.

First Victim: Danny. He gets depressed when Emma accuses him of stealing her panties (it really was the stranger Travis who slept over one night). She basically rejects him and he's found the next morning hanging from the ceiling in a noose.

Second Victim: Charlie. Matt suffocates her with a plastic bag putting on a show for the camera.

Third Victim: Rex. Matt chops off his head with an axe.

Fourth Victim: Matt. When "The Company" arrive, they lock Emma in some room. Then the Company dude shoots Matt in the head.

Fifth Victim? Emma. The movie ends with her trapped. An alternate ending has her escaping.

The Ruins

I stumbled across the book The Ruins through Amazon.com's suggestive advertising during the summer of 2007. It sounded interesting and up my ally. I'm always looking for great Survivor books as well as movies. I bought the book about 6 months before I even learned they were making a movie, but I didn't read it right away. As soon as I saw a preview for the movie I quickly tried to finish the current book I was reading (what a bore it was) and start on The Ruins. Once I started reading The Ruins I could not put it down; it was that good! Not extremely exciting, but written very well.

The movie, on the other hand, was a different experience. I'm not a fan of standing behind cliches, but yea, the book was better. It's the same basic story in both the movie and book - at least they didn't try to change that - but the fact that they changed the ending just to appease "stupid" American audiences is what really made me dislike the movie. It ruined the movie. There were a couple other things including a rushed feeling that the movie gave off, which I think could have been done better. I don't blame the movie for rearranging what happens to who because I'm sure they wanted to create some surprise for people who had read the book.

Synopsis: When a group of tight-knit college friends visit the site of an undisturbed Mayan ruin, they stumble into an ancient trap: an unspoken evil waiting to drag its victims into an endless nightmare. As fear and paranoia eat away at their sanity, their only chance at escape is to commit the unthinkable.

My favorite element of The Ruins is without a doubt the herbal antagonist. I think I can safely say that The Ruins will be the only movie to appear on this blog that features killer plants! What happens is the 6 friends get too close to the ruins (pictured above), which is heavily populated with these docile man-eating vines. These vines get in you. They suffocate you. They suck you dry. Once the college friends step foot on the ruins, an army of local Mayans surround them and prevent them from leaving for the fear of carrying the evil vine's seed outside the quarantined vicinity (notice the moat of salt surrounding the ruins). The friends get stuck atop the ruins waiting for someone to come and rescue them before starvation or the vines kill them first.

Cast:

Amy (Jena Malone) is Jeff's girlfriend. She's hesitant on traveling to the ruins but persuaded into going.





Jeff (Jonathan Tucker) is Amy's boyfriend. He's the group leader and wants everyone to see something unique before leaving Mexico.


Eric (Shawn Ashmore) is Stacy's boyfriend. He's the most laid-back of the group.




Stacy (Laura Ramsey) is Eric's girlfriend and Amy's best friend. She tends to agree with whatever Amy says.


Mathias (Joe Anderson) is from Germany. His brother is an archaeologist with a dig site at the ruins and invites him to come visit. Mathias invites the others too.



Dimitri (Dimitri Baveas) is a Greek boy the group meets near their hotel. He tags along leaving his other Greek friends a map to follow later. He doesn't speak English.


Movie Scene:



Click here for Spoilers

The Ruins Movie
First Victim: Dimitri. Before they even climb the ruins, the Mayans kill him.

Second Victim: Mathias. He falls down the shaft breaking his back. The vines eat off his legs and later suffocate him.

Third Victim: Eric. Stacy goes crazy over the vines crawling inside her that she accidentally stabs Eric in the chest when he tries to stop her from cutting her own body open.

Fourth Victim: Stacy. Her body is so bloody and ripped open at this point from trying to cut the vines out from under her skin that the others put her out of her misery.

Fifth Victim: Jeff. He creates a distraction so Amy can escape. The Mayans shoot him in the chest with several arrows.

Survivor: Amy

The Ruins Book
First Victim: Amy. The vines suffocate her during the night when she sleeps outside the tent. They put her body in a sleeping bag and later are shocked to see the bag moving...

Second Victim: Dimitri (called Pablo in the book). He falls down the shaft breaking his back. The vines eat off his legs and later suffocate him.

Third Victim: Jeff. He tries to escape but the Mayans shoot him through the throat.

Fourth Victim: Mathias. Eric goes crazy over the vines crawling inside him that he accidentally stabs Mathias in the chest.

Fifth Victim: Eric. Eric is so bloody and beaten up at this point from trying to cut the vines out from under his skin that he asks Stacy to kill him.

Sixth Victim: Stacy. All alone and with no hope to escape she slits her wrists.

Survivors: None


Notice how in the movie they're killed in pretty much the reverse order of the credits (typical movie fashion) whereas the book is done almost randomly (uh hello? better!). The minute the story got under way I figured Dimitri would be the first to die and then Mathias. The movie followed suit and I was not surprised (yaaawn, yaaawn). The book astonished me. Etc, etc, I could go on and on with points that made the book better.

Event Horizon

Perhaps one of the best, and my favorite, space survival movies is Event Horizon. This movie undoubtedly follows in the footsteps of Alien, but that's just what it wants you to believe. I wouldn't call it a ripoff. It has a similar feel and it shares the same genre but it goes in a completely different direction. One movie critic said The Descent (2006) was a ripoff of Alien (wow!), so i'm sure some would easily consider Event Horizon a ripoff as well.

Synopsis: The year is 2047. Years earlier, the pioneering research vessel Event Horizon vanished without a trace orbiting near Neptune. Now a signal from it has been detected, and the US Aerospace Command responds. Hurtling toward the signal's source is a rescue crew including the lost ship's designer. Their mission: find and salvage the state-of-the-art spacecraft. What they find is a state-of-the-art interstellar terror. What they must salvage are their own lives, because someone or something is ready to ensnare them in a new dimension of unimaginable fear.

When I first saw this movie about 10 years ago, I thought it was the scariest movie I had ever seen. That might have been so, but now rewatching it years later I disagree with my first impression. It's dark, it's jumpy, it's suspenseful, it's bloody -yes, but overall it's more freaky than truly horrifying . On the plus side, it's one of those Survivor Movies where nobody is safe! There is no corny hero who falls in love and HAS to make it out alive so as not to upset the audience. I like that about hardcore Sci-Fi movies; they don't have to play by the rules.

Without totally spoiling the movie, but reader beware, I'll explain more of the plot. Aboard the lost Event Horizon ship was this powerful core generator thing that harnessed the ability to create black holes. They mention it would take a thousand years to travel to the closest star, but through a black hole it would only take a day. It turns out that the Event Horizon traveled through a black hole it created and returned with all of its crew mysteriously dead. The movie doesn't completely confirm this, but it's said that they literally traveled to Hell in some other dimension and back. Something spooky was brought back aboard the ship from "Hell" which made the crew and now the rescuers lose their minds.

Cast:

Miller (Laurence Fishburne) the fearless captain of the Lewis and Clark- the search and rescue ship. In a previous mission we learn that he had to leave one man behind in order to more likely save himself and others.


Dr Weir (Sam Neill) the designer of the Event Horizon. He's the guy who created the black hole generating thing and he likes to confuse everyone with scientific mumbo jumbo. His wife, Clare, is dead and she haunts his dreams.


Peters (Kathleen Quinlan) is the medical technician. At the last minute she was ordered to accompany this mission and had to leave her son, Danny, with her ex.



Cooper (Richard T. Jones) is the search and rescue technician. The crew jokes that he's useless but he serves the movie by being the stereotypical comic relief.



Mr. Justin (Jack Noseworthy) looks like the youngest aboard the crew and he's in charge of engineering. He's nicknamed "baby bear."



Lt. Starck (Joely Richardson) is the executive officer aboard the Lewis and Clark.



Smith (Sean Pertwee) is the pilot of the Lewis and Clark.




D.J. (Jason Isaacs) is the head of trauma. He's labeled as the strange, loner guy.




Movie Scene:


Click here for Spoilers

First Victim? Justin. Although he doesn't die, he travels through some sort of black hole into another dimension while scouting out the Event Horizon. He later returns all dazed and shaking. He attempts to commit suicide by ejecting himself from an airlock. The others save him but he's badly injured and put in a tank for the rest of the movie.

Second Victim: Peters. She thinks she sees her son running around the Event Horizon. She follows and winds up falling down a shaft.

Third Victim: Smith. The group decides to leave the Event Horizon, but Dr Weir does not want to leave. Weir takes an explosive device and triggers it aboard the Lewis and Clark, their rescue vessel. Only Smith is aboard the ship when she blows. Everyone else left is stuck on the Event Horizon.

Fourth Victim: DJ. At this point Weir has gone completely insane from seeing illusions of his dead wife aboard the Event Horizon. He's gouged out his eyes, blown up the rescue ship, and now murders DJ. Weir slices DJ open and hangs him from some wires like a marionette.

Fifth Victim: Dr Weir. During a showdown between Weir and Miller, Weir attempts to shoot at Cooper, who's outside the ship in a space suit. Weir is blind so I don't think he realizes that he shoots a hole in the ships window. This creates a huge suction that hurtles Weir out into space.

Sixth Victim: Captain Miller. They plan to blow off part of the Event Horizon and use the intact half as an escape shuttle. Miller goes back to trigger the explosives but is distracted by an illusion of the pissed-off man he left to die in his previous mission. The man turns out to be a haunting Weir playing mind games. Miller decides to end the craziness right then and there and just triggers the explosives sacrificing himself for the others.

Survivors: Cooper, Lt. Starck, and Justin.

Jurassic Park III

Jurassic Park 3 is by far the least popular of the series. I'm not going to bother defending it against its predecessors, but I will say that it's still a fun, jungle adventure movie that fits right in here.

Synopsis: Adventure runs wild when renowned paleontologist Dr. Alan Grant agrees to accompany a wealthy adventurer and his wife on an aerial tour of Isla Sorna, InGen's former breeding ground for prehistoric creatures. But when they're terrifyingly stranded, Dr. Grant discovers that his hosts are not what they seem, and the island's native inhabitants are smarter, faster, fiercer and more brutal than he ever imagined...

Yea, there's not much to this movie. This plot could have been 1/4 of the storyline if this movie were to be as good as the first two. JP3 is just a bunch of people running away from dinosaurs in the jungle. Nothing else, nothing more, and there's really nothing wrong with that!

I'm actually not a huge fan of the Jurassic Park movies. I love them as good movies in general, but as Survivor Movies they're weak. They are way too predictable as to who dies and who survives. I would assume this is because they are geared towards older children and families as a whole. Which means they can't get away with killing a family man, a woman, or even a good-looking guy for that matter. With Jurassic Park 3 that's pretty much the entire cast.

Cast:

Erik (Trevor Morgan) and his step-father Ben go para sailing around "Jurassic Park" island (ok, the islands are named Isla Sorna or Isla Nublar but who cares?). When their pilots mysteriously vanish they cut themselves loose and land on the island.




Paul (William H. Macy) and Amanda Kirby (Tea Leoni) are not wealthy adventurers. They're an average, middle class divorced couple with a son who's now lost in Jurassic Park. They pretend to be rich to get the help they need, and seek Alan Grant in particular.



After surviving the first Jurassic Park adventure, Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neill) has returned to his work as a paleontologist digging up bones. He's bribed into returning to Jurassic Park by the Kirbys with his assistant, Billy (Alessando Nivola).



Cooper, Nash and Udesky, AKA dino-Breakfast, dino-Lunch and dino-Dinner. These guys are hired for protection against the dinosaurs.





Movie Scene:



Click here for Spoilers

First Victim: Step-father Ben. We learn he died before the rescue team lands on the island.

Second Victim: Cooper. He's the first of the rescue group to go when the giant Spinosaurus snatches him up.

Third Victim: Nash. After their plane crashes, the Spinosaurs conveniently decides to kill Nash next.

Fourth Victim: Udesky. After being chased by Velociraptors, Udesky gets injured by a raptor as a trap to lure the other humans. The raptors then snap his neck before running off.

Fifth Victim? Billy. We are led to believe that Billy may have been killed when the Pteranodons peck at him and carry him down the river. Thanks to the test audience disapproval, he comes back at the end of the movie all in one piece.

Survivors: Grant, Paul, Amanda, Erik, and Billy.

CUBE

Synopsis: Six ordinary strangers awaken to find themselves in a seemingly endless maze of interlocking cubical chambers armed with lethal booby traps. Without food or water, they have only a few days to live. None of them knows how or why they've been imprisoned, but soon discover that each possesses a skill that could contribute to their escape. As they work together to extricate themselves from their claustrophobic cell, one thing becomes painfully clear - unless they learn to cooperate to solve the secrets of this deadly trap, none of them has very long to live.

Wow. After reading that blurb from the back of the DVD case I was hooked. Nothing could stop me from watching this movie. It's what I call a movie that has amazing potential for my tastes. But I still had to cross my fingers that it would work and not totally suck. Not every movie with great potential turns out well- especially ones with low budgets like CUBE. However, I was delighted that the movie was pretty darn good. Bare in mind, it's a very low budget movie. The entire thing was shot in 1 room. Literally. But the characters, the acting, and my enthusiasm for survival suspense held the movie together quite well in my opinion.

Lurking around each corner of the CUBE is a booby trap waiting to kill off another one of the hamsters. Who will die first? Who will be next? Will anyone make it out alive?

I love that as the movie progresses the turn of events shifts away from what you'd expect. I also love that each player has a story and a reason for being included. The group needs everyones skills to survive; for some it takes the entire movie to learn what that skill may be, and of course, some don't make it far enough to lend much help. That's the greatness of the CUBE.

Cast:

Leaven (Nicole de Boer) is a student still in college. She's a math whiz and a sweetheart.



Holloway (Nicky Guadagni) is a divorced doctor. She's caring and compassionate for others.



Worth (David Hewlet) is an architect. He's single and does not fully appreciate life. He may have had a hand in building the CUBE.



Kazan (Andrew Miller) has autism. The others view him as more of a liability than any help. But little do they know, his skill may be the most important of all.


Rennes (Wayne Robson) is an escape artist currently running from the law. He knows a lot about the trap mechanisms used within the CUBE.



Quentin (Maurice Dean Wint) is a police officer. He's a take charge man with little concern for hurting anyones feelings.



Movie Scene:



Click here for Spoilers

First Victim: Rennes. He misjudges a room as safe and gets sprayed with a flesh-burning, acid booby trap.

Second Victim: Holloway. When the group reaches the edge of the CUBE they fashion a rope with their clothes to climb down. She volunteers to go first. The rope proves useless and as Quentin is pulling her back up he loses his mind and lets her drop into the darkness.

Third Victim: Leaven. Leaven, Worth and Kazan abandon Quentin because he's acting insane. They think they lost him when he sneaks up behind out of nowhere and impales Leaven with a rod.

Fourth Victim: Quentin. They just so happen to be in the final room when Quentin attacks. He kills Leaven and stabs Worth. Then as Quentin's climbing out, Worth holds his legs inside the CUBE room. Half of Quentin is in the CUBE and half is out. The CUBE then begins to rotate and cuts Quentin in half.

Fifth Victim: Worth. Worth is fatally wounded and now still stuck in the CUBE as the exit room rotates back to the beginning.

Survivor: Kazan. Right before Quentin was ripped in half, Kazan had made it out. So Yea, the handicapped guy made it - don't write those angry letters, people.

Anaconda

It's only fitting that I kick this off with my favorite survivor movie of all time: Anaconda. Anaconda is a fun, campy and underrated creature feature that has everything I enjoy in a good adventure. I love the colorful cast of characters and the believable plot (a hard thing to come by in monster movies). I love the mix of scares where sometimes it looks someone's about to die - but then they don't. I love the Amazon setting and the fact that they actually filmed it on location! I'm always a fan of animatronics over crappy CGI when it comes to bringing the monsters to life. Anaconda does a mix of both with varying believabilities, but overrall it's not too bad. And of course, Anaconda wouldn't even contend as my favorite movie if the elite band of characters weren't picked off...one by one.

Synopsis: A documentary film crew ventures into the world's most isolated jungle - the Amazon - in search of a lost and forgotten civilization. Early in their journey they come to the aid of a stranded Paraguayan guide, Paul Sarone, who joins their expedition. But Sarone is actually a poacher on the trail of a legendary snake. Sarone hijacks the boat and steers the crew right into the path of a deadly anaconda.

Cast:

Terri Flores (Jennifer Lopez) is the documentary film's producer and director. It's her job to lead the production.


Dr. Steven Cale (Eric Stoltz) is the expert on the mysterious Shiri Shama Amazonian tribe; the subject of the documentary. He's hired to locate the tribe.



Mateo (Vincent Castellanos) is the scruffy boat captain. He and Paul Sarone aren't exactly strangers. It's a bit more than a coincidence that the crew and Sarone cross paths.


Warren Westeridge (Jonathan Hyde) is an actor. He's hired to narrate and be the on-camera personality for the documentary. He's a bit British and doesn't like roughing it in the jungle.


Danny Rich (Ice Cube) is the camera man. He's a city boy and good friends with Terri.



Gary Dixon (Owen Wilson) is the sound engineer. He'd rather film the documentary on Sarone capturing a giant snake.





Denise Kalberg (Kari Wuhrer) is the production manager. It's her job to basically just look hot in the jungle. Gary is her boyfriend.


Paul Sarone (Jon Voight) is the snake poacher who stumbles upon the film crew when they save his life. He's after a very large anaconda and a large paycheck to go with it. He convinces the film crew to help him hunt the snake. The only problem for them is that he wants the snake alive.


Movie Scene:

Click here for Spoilers

First victim? Cale. Although he doesn't die, he's the first taken out of the adventure when he swallows a poisonous wasp.

Second victim: Mateo. When part of the group ventures back from a crash site after looking for fuel, he lags behind and gets picked off by the anaconda.

Third victim: Gary. While Sarone goes anaconda fishing, Gary finds himself in the water and then in the belly of the giant snake shortly afterwards.

Fourth victim: Denise. Upset over Gary's death, Denise tries to kill Sarone for bringing the snake. Sarone is one step ahead and strangles her to death.

Fifth victim: Westeridge. He runs away from the anaconda up some rocks. The anaconda follows and catches him before he can escape.

Sixth victim: Sarone. The biggest snake of the movie gets his due after his final plan to catch the anaconda backfires. He winds up regurgitated snake food.

Survivors: Terri, Danny and Cale.