1. They wasted a clever sequel name to Anaconda which deserved a better sequel. The original Anaconda still is my favorite movie of all time. So as its number one fan, of course I have expectations for the sequel. But it wasn’t a sequel; it was just another movie about giant snakes. So it bugs me that this was marketed and even sold as a set with Anaconda. I've heard this happens sometimes (Open Water 2, Troll 2), where a movie is marketed as a sequel just to drum up some money. The fans lose unfortunately. If they just would have called this "BOA CONSTRICTOR" or something I would be satisfied and would have enjoyed the movie!
2. For being titled “AnacondaS” it never featured more than one snake attacking the humans at once!
Therefore, it didn’t out do Anaconda which also featured more than 1 snake but only 1 at a time. See, in Alien there was 1 alien. In Aliens there were multiple aliens all over the place attacking and so forth. We should have seen many anacondas involved at once (and not just harmlessly in the background).
3. Everyone knows anacondas are only found in the AMAZON.
Borneo is on the other side of the planet. Sadly, I think the movie only got green lighted because of the much-anticipated waterfall scene. There might not be any huge waterfalls in the Amazon, so some genius decided that the movie should be accurate and moved it to Borneo….but anacondas don’t live in-nevermind.
4. Anacondas have no teeth, at least not razor-sharp fangs. Just itty bitty ones to hold onto their prey. The fact that the snakes were larger than normal was explained in the movie. And there’s a difference between intentional “fiction” and bull-sh*t. The fact that the snakes grew so big eating some flower is not true-but it was made up for the movie. The huge fangs on the Anaconda- I don’t think that was for any reason other than to make them look scarier. I don’t think anyone above the age of 10 was scared.
5. The acting.
Johnny Messner was unbearable with his monotonous, terrible acting. I hope he never gets another gig again due to it. Kadee Strickland- Were they looking for an annoying accent in casting? There has to be a billion blonde babes who want into show business and have human accents. And Eugene Byrd is the worst stereotypical black man I have ever seen. These 3 were excruciating. *Spoiler* and unfortunately they are all in the entire movie, officially beating this dead horse dry.
6. What are the chances of getting 8 scientists, professors, students, pharmaceutical reps, and scruffy boat captains that all look like Abercrombie and Fitch models?
Everyone was either too young or too hot to be scientists, high rolling pharmaceutical reps, etc. The professor was as young looking as his students. Of course it’s possible, but why? This is typical Hollywood for ya, but they should have looked at classics- hey, maybe ALIEN. (They already copied the sequel name idea). In ALIEN there were 8 dorky-looking adults that the audience bought as real astronauts. Success! I didn’t buy half the cast. I thought Messner’s friend in the movie, Livingston, would have been better as the lead boat captain guy. At least he could act it and had the perfect image.
7. Not enough of them died!
4 out of 8? It’s not like this was Jurassic Park 3: Family Edition, where they seriously couldn’t kill anyone else. Honestly, I was hoping they’d all die in some sort of movie first (this was before The Descent). And the Salli Richardson character was complete EVIL. She had a complete villain edit, of course, second villain to the British guy. She should have been killed. It’s in the monster movie rules that the evil people get it. Oh, but wait…she’s a woman. I really hope her being a woman didn’t stop them from feeding her to the anacondas, I will just pretend to appreciate her surviving as an unpredictable twist.
8. Ending?
I thought this movie was driven by that flower. There should have been some sort of follow-up, or a twist. They were ALL there for that flower, not just the British guy.
9. Not enough Snake!
This isn’t the first monster movie to disappoint with lack of monster scenes. I guess it’s hard to write a script that builds character development AND has to get the creature in as fast as possible. It can work in some monster movies, but in this one the casting and acting were terrible, I think there should have been more snake.
10. The trailer = the entire movie.
I swear the trailer was just a 30 second recap of the entire movie. Everything critical except the getaway on the raft was in the trailers…I mean even half the death scenes were pretty much shown.
