Saturday, July 30, 2011

Eight Legged Freaks

Invasion of the jumping spiders!

This movie packs a lot of over-the-top, giant spiders jumping on people. It really doesn't disappoint when it comes to that. I remember seeing posters for this movie at the theater and really looking forward to it back in '02. It stars the lovely Kari Wuhrer, from my favorite movie of all time, Anaconda, so that's partly why. Oh and David Arquette's there at the end of his career and Scarlett Johansson at the beginning of hers.

For a lower budget (presumed) this movie does a good job blending the CGI with the puppet spiders (good, not great). It's the actual context of some scenes which can be absurd at times (spiders chasing and jumping on a group of dirt bike riders for instance). But the special effects alone never ruined a scene IMO. In a movie like this the believability of the spiders is more important than the human storylines and acting. So there's not much competition there.

The movie begins with a chemical accident and we instantly realize where things are headed. Farm animals turn up dead or missing and the town is worried. Next thing you know there are giant, jumping spiders everywhere! Eventually they corner Sheriff Kari and Arquette in a shopping mall and later a mine where the movie climaxes in an all-out war. While in most monster movies there may be 2-5 good scenes of monster carnage, this one has too many to count. I had a hard time picking just one scene to use in the monster movie montage i'm working on.

Eight Legged Freaks reminds me so much of well done 80's monster movie, despite being made during the crappy computer generated horror era. I award it that, but it's personally not one of my favorites. I would say it's only mildly scary, mildly funny, and mildly freaky.

Survivors do not include Joshua, the spider specialist, some ostriches, some miners, some dirt biker guys, some truck drivers, some senior citizens and most of the other townspeople for that matter. Survivors do include nearly everyone likeable and given a name for their character.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Edge

I can't believe how many awesome Survivor movies were made in 1997! Anaconda, Alien Resurrection, Cube, Event Horizon, The Lost World, Starship Troopers...and the most Survivor-esque of them all: The Edge. What a great year.

In The Edge, four men take a quick flight over the Alaskan wilderness in search of an Indian man for their photoshoot. The plot is so very non-epic which is great. The movie teased me in the beginning with a cabin full of several other people. I thought -oh yay- a large expedition into the woods, but no, they all stay back at the cabin safe and sound. After smashing through a flock of birds, the four men's plane crashes. They are stranded out in the middle of the wilderness and being hunted by that bear.

The pilot dies in the crash leaving us quite quickly with just 3 men left: Alec Baldwin, Anthony Hopkins and Michael from Lost.

Stephen (aka Michael) gets seriously injured and later eaten by the bear in one of the most frightening scenes.

Things get heated when it's just Charles (Hopkins) and Bob (Baldwin) left. Charles' wife is cheating on him with Bob, and Bob is on this trip to kill Charles out in the wilderness ($$$).

Charles outsmarts the bear and Bob [justly] gets fatally wounded and does not make it back.

My final word: The Edge is a good movie, but not very fun to rewatch.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem

Aliens vs. Predator - Requiem (AVPR) picks up right where Alien vs. Predator (AVP) left off. The "PredAlien" offspring crash lands on earth and terrorizes a small town. There's an endless amount of characters and attacks, which really makes AVPR a poor Survivor movie. It fits perfectly into the Jaws model which I don't care for. There is a band of several characters the story tries to focus on amidst the carnage of an entire town which includes a couple hobos, some pregnant women at a hospital, and a dozen National Guard troops.

The humans in AVPR are supposed to have secondary billing to the real stars; the predators and aliens. It is their movie after all. Even though it's not that hard to predict who will survive (oh wow the dickhead, jock bully dies? The little girl lives? I'm falling off the edge of my seat...), the best part about AVPR is seeing who gets to claim each kill...the predators or the aliens.

In AVP the score was pretty much tied. In AVPR however, I think the aliens scored a major upset. Granted, I'm not sure which team the PredAlien is on and half the time I wasn't sure if it was the PredAlien or just some regular alien getting the kill (it's such a dark movie - literally). I'll put the PredAlien on the aliens team for simplicity. And there was only one real Predator in this sequel so the odds are not in his favor.

Victims
1. Buddy and Sam (father & son) - impregnated by aliens
2. Three Hobos - 2 impregnated by aliens, 1 killed by PredAlien
3. Deputy Ray - killed and skinned by Predator
Aliens: 5, Predator: 1
4. Carrie & Richie (diner) - killed by aliens/PredAlien
5. Man at the power plant - aliens
6. Mark (swimming pool) - alien
7. Nick (locker room) - alien
8. Jim (Molly's father) - alien
9. National Guard Troops - aliens
Aliens: 20+, Predator: 1
10. Hospital Nurse - PredAlien
11. 2 Stoners at the weapons shop - Predator
12. Dale - alien acid
13. Doctor and pregnant women - PredAlien
14. Pizza One Manager - aliens/PredAlien
15. Jesse - Predator
16. Eddy, Darcy & the rest of the town - The US Government
Aliens: 30+, Predator: 4

Survivors
Kelly & Molly (mother & daughter)
Dallas & Ricky (brothers)

The Pattern
Notice that the sole survivor in AVP was a woman, just like in Alien.
The survivors in AVPR include a kick-ass heroine, a little girl and an injured young man, just like in Aliens.
I appreciate this little homage whether it was intentional or just coincidence.
This means only 1 random bald guy will survive AVP3 :D

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Creature

Creature is the 1985 rip-off of Alien. It's not like me to say something is a rip-off because I tend to defend monster movies when people accuse them of copying Alien. But Creature was low budget and made right after Alien came out. I can only imagine it was made to cash in on the other movie's success (wait, was The Asylum making movies in 1985?). The "creature" looks just like the alien in Alien, the title is eerily similar, and the plot feels the same. They even cast a Ripley look-alike to kick some creature ass!

The story takes place on Titan, a moon of Saturn. The Germans have already landed on Titan and since they're competing with the USA for technological power, a team of American astronauts follow. The USA team crashes and seek help from the Germans, but they discover the entire German crew has been slaughtered. The astronauts then discover some strange specimens on board the German ship. These strange, small bug-like creatures begin to infest the humans and take over their brains. There's also a bigger creature lurking around (see below). The astronauts and scientists must somehow fix the German ship and escape.

The creature...


The humans...

Name: Mike Davison
Position: Captain
Survivor: Yes
Name: Beth Sladen
Position: Damsel in Distress
Survivor: She gets left alone, captured, chased, falls a sleep, and insists on nudging the creature with her foot but yes.
Name: Bryce
Position: Weapons Specialist
Looks Like: Sigourney Weaver
Survivor: She gets lost for a third of the movie, but yes.
Name: Perkins
Position: Commander
Looks like: Alan Seaver
Survivor: No (5th death)
Cause of Death: Creature
Name: Hans Hofner
Position: Sole survivor of German crew
Survivor: No (4th death)
Cause of death: Bug-like creature infect his brain. He tries to kill Davison but Perkins shoots him.
Name: Wendy
Position: Doctor
Survivor: No (3rd death)
Cause of death: Led to creature by infected Jon. Creature bites her head off.
Name: Jon
Position: Boyfriend of Susan
Survivor: No (2nd death)
Cause of death: Thinks Susan is still alive, goes looking for her, finds her, but she's infected and implants a bug in his brain. He later returns to the crew and Davison blows his head off after he turns on them.
Name: Susan
Favorite Position: Top
Survivor: No (1st death)
Cause of death: The crew gets chased through the German ship by the creature. Everyone slips through a closing steel door but she doesn't make it through. The creature corners her and...*splat*

Monday, May 31, 2010

The Descent

The Descent is a British horror film about 6 women who go spelunking in an undiscovered cave system where they run into a strange breed of predators and fight for survival. The Descent just so happens to be genuinely frightening and one of my favorite Survivor movies of all time! The creatures the women run into are suggested to be a variation of humans that evolved overtime underground. They are pale white and blind, which would be expected for creatures living in a world with no light. I enjoy when stories interject a bit of realistic science fiction; it makes you think. Actually, the whole movie makes you think...do these creatures in the caves even exist or are they all imagined by one woman's descent into madness?

Well, part 1 of The Descent leaves you thinking and tingling with goose bumps. Part 2 steam rolls over these thoughts and bewilderment when a group of rescuers go down to review, repeat and regurgitate the first film all over again. But hey, bring on a third and i'll watch it!

Of course, like any cave movie, the plot is driven by the characters becoming trapped inside. But what makes this movie different is that 1) it's realistically dark throughout. The only lighting is from the peoples head lamps and torches, etc. This really sets the mood for a very dark, claustrophobic and sometimes hard to see, movie. And 2) the cast is mostly women which is unique and gives itself a bit of originality in the genre.

I actually heard of this movie long before it was released in the United States. I stumbled upon the title on imdb.com after thinking this might be the movie version of a book I had been reading titled the same. It is not based on the book by Jeff Long, but apparently The Descent was released in Europe a year or so before the US. It had a quiet release in the US without a lot of fan fare, but over the years it's picked up notoriety. It might even get spoofed in the next Scary Movie...even though, The Descent: Part 2 actually feels like a spoof on Part 1 at times.

Part Spoilers 1:

Holly (first to die) - Sort of the tomboy of the group. Holly falls and injures her leg before the group encounters the creatures. When the group is later ambushed she's becomes the first victim.


Beth (second to die?) - Sarah's best friend. During the initial ambush with the creatures, Juno whips out her pickaxe. Thinking a creature is behind her, Juno swings and stabs Beth right through the neck. Later, a dying Beth tells Sarah that Juno injured her (albeit accidental).


Sam (third to die) - Flees from the creatures and attempts to scale a cavernous ceiling over a deep, dark pit. Midway across the ravine a creature climbs onto her and..


Rebecca (fourth to die) - Spends most of the chaotic part of the movie with Sam. Immediately after Sam is killed, another creature attacks Rebecca killing her.



Juno (last to die?) - After the initial ambush Juno becomes Lara Croft and spends most of the remaining film doing acrobatics and karate type stuff killing creatures left and right. In the final scene, Sarah takes a pickaxe to Juno's thigh disabling her so the creatures can finish her off (as revenge for killing Beth)...oh irony!

Sarah (Escapes?) - Sarah manages to escape the caves. In the original film ending, however, she only imagines escaping. In the [happy-ending approved] American version the movie stops before she realizes she's still in the cave. So [Yay!] Americans can sleep at night knowing she's ok. Either way she does make it out and moves onto Part 2.

Part 2 Spoilers:
Dan (first to die) - The leader of the rescue squad is the first to die when the creatures come back for a second helping and a taste of man.



Cath (second to die) - Cath and Greg are the cute couple on the rescue team. During the ambush they stumble upon Sam's body dangling above a dark ravine. Cath makes it across swinging on Sam (Greg falls), however the creature on the other end of the ravine slaughters her.

Vaines (third to die) - Vaines is the sheriff who insists on accompanying Sarah and the rescuers back down in the cave system looking for the other 5 women. At one point he handcuffs himself to Sarah...slips...long story short Juno ends up hacking Vaines' arm off so he doesn't take Sarah with him when he falls.

Greg (fourth goner?) - One of the rescuers. Greg is bitten and falls down a deep and dark hole into water. You later see the last of him in the creatures' bone pit.



Juno (Finally dies) - Juno the creature slayer takes one too many gashes to the abdomen before finally saying adieu.




Sarah (Sacrifices herself) - In the end it's just Sarah and Rios. Sarah's character is an interesting one. She lost her daughter in the beginning of part 1, suffered from amnesia and didn't remember the creatures until about 3/4s of the way into part 2. She sacrifices herself so Rios can escape and be with her daughter.

Rios (Sole Survivor?) - She escapes the caves. Relieved, she calls her daughter and then BAM. Shovel to the head. The old man who lives above the caves knocks her out and feeds her to the creatures. It's like the ending of Lake Placid, but moreso out of nowhere.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Mist

When talking with others about Steven King's The Mist, i'm always surprised at how much people hate this movie. I thought it got great reviews but I think there are 2 reasons someone may really despise The Mist:

1) It's technically a monster movie with giant bugs and octopi. It's hard for many people to take a movie with giant bugs and octopi for what it is even if it is Steven King. Therefore, they blow this off as just another lame monster movie that ripped off of every previous one.

2) The downer ending. Most American movies let the audience leave satisfied. Infact they had to change the ending of The Descent just to release it in America. However, The Mist has an extremely unsatisfying ending too. The type of ending that makes you angry and sad. I too, was pretty unsatisfied with the ending. But I can also appreciate something different every now and then.

So thank you, The Mist, for biting the bullet and risking being a hated movie for a more shocking and thought-provoking ending.

The only thing that would have made The Mist better in my mind was if we learned the fate of every character, because I really could NOT f*cking stand that Norton character and i'd sleep much better if I knew for a fact he died in this movie (well, i'm being dramatic). I'd rather deal with the acidic web-spewing spiders than deal with a stuck-up, stubborn old man like Norton any day. I picked up racist vibes from this character and he was too annoying with his irrational defensiveness. But I do like that he acted this way because of the disaster situation.

Stubborn doubt was a strong theme in The Mist. Every time someone would say something about the mist or what was out there, nobody would believe a damn thing. You as the viewer just want to slap nearly everyone in there. For one thing, this movie definitely can bring out emotion for the characters whether it be good or bad. I wasn't really rooting for anyone except maybe the funny old lady who was throwing cans of peas and the dude from Battlestar Galactica.


Here's the spoilerific rundown of the characters, the key events, the victims and the survivors!


Meet the hero:
David Drayton. He's a commercial artist who works on movie posters (I love that he had a movie poster of The Thing hanging in his studio). David lives by the lake with his wife, Stephanie, and his 5 year old son, Billy. A large storm knocks out the power and a fallen tree damages David's house. David, Billy and his neighbor Mr. Norton drive together to the local Food House grocery store to pick up some supplies. While shopping, a foggy mist engulfs the grocery store parking lot and the panic begins.





Fellow Shoppers: Amanda Dumfries, Mrs Carmady, Myron and Jim (left) who are friends and likely coworkers, and many others.


Food House employees: Bud the manager (right), Norm the bag boy, Ollie, Sally and Joe




Event 1:
David, Ollie, Jim, Myron and Norm the bag boy go back to investigate. They decide to send Norm outside to clear whatever might be in the way of the garage door. David figured this would be a fatal mistake and he was right.

Victim: Norm the bag-boy (left). While he's not technically the first victim of the movie he's the first slightly-significant character to go. He gets grabbed by some spiny tentacles from outside the loading garage door.





Event 2:
Mr. Norton and "his people" don't believe there is anything to fear with the mist. They don't believe that Norm is dead, nor that any of the others who walked out into the mist and yelped a horrifying scream were really dead either. So Mr. Norton and his people leave the grocery store.


Victim: The Biker (right). It's cool that this actor was in the other two Steven King movies made by the same director. He's the only guy not given a name who made this list. He gets ripped in half when he walks out into the mist with a rope tied around his waist so the others could see how far he didn't make it.



Victim: Mr Norton (left). The most obnoxious character in the movie IMO. Disaster situations can really bring out the worst in people but this guy topped the crazy cake. Everything people were telling him about the mist he did not believe. He rode his high horse right out into the mist and presumably was killed with a bunch of "his people" (we can only hope).





Event 3:
The survivors barricade the front glass wall of the store with stacks of dog food bags. At night, the lights inside the store attract a bunch of football-sized mosquito-looking creatures, which then attract some much larger pterodactyl-like creatures, which wind up breaking through the glass.

Victim: Tom (right). During the night attack he was swatting at giant mosquitoes left and right, but he was no match for a pterodactyl-like creature that ripped open his neck.



Victim: Sally the clerk (left). Sally was sweet, innocent and you could tell she was loved by the community. During the night attack she got bit by a giant mosquito. The bite caused massive swelling of her neck and face; to the point of death.



Victim: Hattie (right). This older Jamie Lee Curtis lookalike basically played the role of Billy's baby-sitter up until her death. The situation with the creatures and the guns and such were too much for her so she committed suicide by overdosing on pills after the attack subsided.




Event 4:
During the night attack, Joe was severly burned and now on his death bed. He was in need of some medical supplies. So David, Ollie, Mike, Bobby, Irene, Dan and Jessup venture out to the neighboring pharmacy to stock up.


Victim: Mike (left). During the quest to the pharmacy, Mike got webbed and swarmed by killer spiders.






Victim: Bobby (right). Bobby almost escaped the pharmacy with the meds for his burned brother back at the Food House, but the spiders sliced open his leg and killed him on the way out.



Victim: Joe (left) He accidentally set himself on fire during the night attack. Despite the somewhat success of the pharmacy quest, Joe doesn't survive the night.






Event 5:
A large theme of The Mist is the religious undercurrent of the stranded Survivors in the Food House. It all stems from one very religious character, Mrs. Carmady. She sees the mist as a form of God's punishment onto humanity. By three-quarters of the way through the movie she has spread her gospel to the majority of the other survivors. As a strong group they are against David and his smaller group of people who now want to leave the grocery store. Mrs. Carmady and her followers do not want anyone else to leave, but instead they'd rather sacrifice those who are not believers in the eyes of God.

Victims: Morales & Donaldson (right) These two soldiers knew exactly what the mist was but they never told anyone. They hanged themselves in the storage room to escape their inevitable fates.





Victim: Private Jessup (left). The others got news that the soldiers knew about the mist and that it was partly their fault. By this point everyone is a little crazy and religious (sorry for the redundancy). The majority of Mrs Carmody's followers believe that if they sacrifice the last remaining soldier then God will reward them by pulling back the creatures (or something of this nature). They stab Jessup and throw him out into the parking lot where a giant mantis-like creature nabs him.



Victim: Mrs Carmody (right). The break-out star of The Mist. Marcia Gay Harden does a superb job playing the unstable "vessel of Christ." She riled up most of the survivors in the super market and got them all believing that the mist was Gods punishment and that they could escape the disaster by giving into prayer and following Mrs Carmady's lead. And like with most religious groups of people, this led to violence and war in the form of a knife fight. Unfortunately for Mrs Carmady, the sole gun of the group was in the hands of a non-believer (Ollie) and Mrs Carmody gets shot twice and killed.



Event 6:
After Mrs. Carmady's death, the rest of her followers resist David and his group attempting to leave the grocery store. So David and his group (his son Billy, Amanda, Ollie, Dan, Irene, Myron, Cornell, and store manager Bud) flee out into the mist towards his truck.

Victim: Ollie (left). This guy worked at the Food House. He quickly teams up with the lead character, David, and also got ahold of the only gun among the group. He sticks with David, Amanda and his boss, Bud. During their final escape to David's truck, he gets sliced in half by a giant crab-like creature.






Victim: Myron (right). Myron and Jim are two of the maintenance/janitorial workers at the Food House. During the final escape, Myron gets killed by a giant spider that jumps on top of him.




Victim: Mr Cornell (left) joins David, Amanda, Myron, Bud, Billy, Irene, Dan and Ollie on their final attempt to escape the mist. But Mr Cornell does not make it.






Event 7:
David, his son Billy, Amanda, Dan and Irene make it to his truck. They drive back to David's house only to see that his wife, Stephanie is dead. They then drive until the truck runs out of gas. The only things they saw on their trip were more creatures and less hope.


Victims: Amanda, Billy, Dan and Irene (below). With 4 bullets left in their only gun, they decide to end their lives. David volunteers to be the odd man out and leave his fate up to the creatures. After shooting the four including his son, David then discovers that the world is not over and he just killed his son in vain. Oops. [/tragic ending]

Survivors: David, Bud, Jim (pictured up top) and many others without names.